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your life! “No one was hesitant to pre-plan their funerals at our party. I think
There’s no place like home
Final arrangement expenditures and the idea of having a more naturally balanced final act have created a resurgence of home funerals. This not only cuts down costs considerably, but it grants more control over how the body of a loved one is prepared.
It wasn’t that long ago when viewings and funerals were held, not in a funeral home, but in a residential home where the body was washed and dressed by a loved one. The deceased would lie in state in one of the rooms, preserved in a cooling blanket of dry ice; the room interspersed with flowers and candles to create a state of peace and calm for the vigil, viewing and service. Since proceedings take place at home they don’t have to follow the schedule of a funeral home so the process can be in cadence with the family. For more information on this and green funerals, visit www.afterdeathhomecare.com or call 734-395-9660.
After Death Home Care Founder Merilynne Rush recently discussed the topic of home funerals and green burials at an Ann Arbor symposium called Death Café, where people gather to have tea in a café setting and talk openly about what they’d like to do to make the most out of life before reaching their expiration date. The Death Café moderator also explores subjects pertaining to death; however, Death Cafes are not a counseling session or a grief support group.
The concept was introduced in 2004 in Switzerland by sociologist Bernard Crettaz who wanted to get people talking about the subject to create a level of comfort toward the inevitable. Today, Death Cafés are held all over the country, often facilitated by
www.deathcafe.com. Making the master plan
Author Erika Dillman wrote the book, “The Party of Your Life: Get the Funeral You Want by Planning it Yourself.” In it she presents a host of creative tips to make “your last party, your best party.” The book is available through Amazon.com for $11.65 plus shipping. Visit Dillman’s website at www.thepartyofyourlife.com and download free worksheets to get started in planning your funeral. You can also access additional resources to help with preparations and you can download tunes to create a personalized funeral soundtrack featuring music that influenced you during your lifetime.
Here are a few creative ideas to inspire and encourage those who are left behind:
• As a part of the funeral service, have key people bring forth to the area near the casket, items that had meaning in your life. For example, a grandfather who passed away loved to play the trumpet. His grandchildren, who also became trumpet players, brought their trumpets. After setting his trumpet case by the casket, together the grandchildren played taps in his honor. Another example: a teacher inspired her children to become educators. Her children brought up symbols of teaching (an apple, chalk, and books), set those by the casket, and then announced a favorite teaching tip they got from mom.
• Hide love notes written to family members and scatter these around your home so that when they go through your things, they find a personalized message to lift their spirits.
• Conduct a rose petal casting at some point during an outdoor portion of the service, casting the flower petals while citing scripture, a favorite memory, etc.
• Create cufflinks, bible bookmarks or jewelry out of the funeral flowers as a special keepsake for $25 on up. Visit www.rosekeepsakes.com or call 800-590-4115.
• Write a special personalized note to each guest mentioning how they inspired, influenced, or affected you.
Want to plan your funeral online, free of charge, check out www.mywonderfullife.com. You’ll be guided through the process and you can complete final arrangements at your leisure. Changes can be made whenever necessary.
When the time arises, the information can be accessed from your online account. You can also leave letters for loved ones, upload favorite photos, write your obituary, design your monument marker, note where important items are located, and share special memories. The web site helps you attend to all of the details.
Once you have everything in order, there’s a sense of relief. Dr. Saylor said, “No one was hesi- tant to pre-plan their funerals at our party. I think that’s why doing it the way we did was so impor- tant." She added, "People don’t want to talk about it, but it needs to be talked about and addressed because everybody dies at some point.”
that’s why doing it the way we did was so important.”
social workers and hospital chaplains. To explore • Consider a theme, funeral colors, and/or a special an upcoming Death Cafe near you, visit online at funeral drink.